In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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