She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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