Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
