Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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