a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize