I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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