I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize