ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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