There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
