he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
