when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize