i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
