TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
