I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
