I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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