You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
