I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
