I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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