well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we're making bets on your personal life
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
