After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
