So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
