If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
