We're like a lot better than the average bears
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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