Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
