how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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