All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
