I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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