I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
