i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
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She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Then you guys just all showered together...?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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