too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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