I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
