these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
