Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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