This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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