when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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