He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
this is an emotional support booty call
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
