I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
