Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
