Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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