I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
