first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
