It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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