you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
