reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
