You smell like stripper and shame
Quick, to the slutcave!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
