dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
