I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom