yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Houston, we have a blender
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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