It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio