fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes