I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
how drunk are you?
Several
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
