Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
