is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
