I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
