Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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