maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
