my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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