How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
