I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well