I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
