dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
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No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
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You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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