thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
