bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
