I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
